A few minutes to reflect honestly on your own relationships — at home and at work. A handful of short steps, and each visit is a little different: a check-in, a reflection or two, a self-rating, sometimes a look back at a commitment you made.
—Nothing is shared with your employer, your manager, or anyone else.
—Your answers stay on this device. No name, no account.
—No scores, no labels, no records sent anywhere.
—You can stop at any point.
Why this tool works — the science
Built on two well-established findings: people change when they notice a gap between their values and their habits (Festinger, 1957), and change happens in stages, beginning with simply noticing (Prochaska & DiClemente, 1983). It avoids shame, which research shows blocks change (Tangney et al., 2007). Full evidence base.
Just so this fits you
What's your day-to-day right now?
A few reflections reference a workplace — we'll only include those if they're actually relevant to you.
One more thing
And your closest relationships?
Same reflections either way — this just makes sure the wording matches your life.
One question first
How do you see yourself?
“I consider myself a respectful, trustworthy partner who leads with care.”
Most people want this to be true of them. Hold your honest answer in mind — what follows is simply a chance to see how everyday habits line up with it.
Checking in
How are you arriving today?
There's no right answer — naming it is the point.
Why this helps
Putting a feeling into words — affect labelling — measurably lowers emotional reactivity in the brain (Lieberman et al., 2007, Psychological Science). Arriving named is arriving calmer.
Self-rating
How often is this true of you?
Noted — honestly
Why a rating scale
Frequency ratings on a five-point scale are the validated standard for measuring attitudes and behaviour (Likert, 1932, A Technique for the Measurement of Attitudes) — a real, comparable self-assessment rather than a feeling about a feeling.
Your own words
Last time, you decided:
Your commitment
How has it gone?
Why revisiting matters
Returning to a specific if-then plan is one of the best-evidenced ways to turn intention into behaviour (Gollwitzer, 1999 — implementation intentions; Locke & Latham, 2002 — goal-setting theory). "Not yet" is information, not failure.
One moment
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Reflection 1 of 10
Does this sound like you?
A moment to reflect
Ask yourself
Why this moment matters
Noticing a gap between your values and a habit creates a quiet, productive discomfort that motivates change from within (Festinger, 1957). Framed as behaviour — never a verdict on you — it leads to repair rather than defensiveness (Tangney et al., 2007).
Thank you for taking this time.
No score, nothing recorded, nothing sent. Noticing a pattern in yourself is the hardest and most important step — and you just took it.
None yet. When a lesson lands, turn it into an if-then plan — it makes follow-through far more likely.
How this journey is designed
The five stages mirror the Transtheoretical Model of change (Prochaska & DiClemente, 1983): noticing, recognising, planning, practising, sustaining. If-then commitments are "implementation intentions" (Gollwitzer, 1999) — among the best-evidenced tools for turning intention into behaviour. Everything stays on your device.
An honest pause can make room for a different next step.
Anonymous & private — your answers never leave this device
Make it an if-then plan
Concrete plans beat good intentions. Saved only on this device.
Help is available
Free, confidential support. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, contact the police.
